This post is about the 80/20 rule and how to create a flexible baby sleep schedule. This post may contain affiliate links. I may make a small commission if you choose to purchase products featured.
Does the thought of sticking to a rigid baby sleep schedule feel more stressful than helpful?
When it comes to baby sleep schedules, parents often fall into one of two camps. They either feel like they have to be rigid or totally flying by the seats of their pants. But here’s the good news: There is a middle ground. And perfection is not required to rock this.
If you’ve never heard of the 80/20 Rule, it could be your new best friend when it comes to creating a flexible baby sleep schedule. As a mom of four, the 80/20 Rule gives me permission to be imperfect.
The 80/20 Rule is the Pareto Principle. It simply states says that 80% of your results come from 20% of your efforts. Whether you have one child or a bunch of them, like I do, read on.
When it comes to baby sleep, that means if you’re consistent with your baby’s sleep routines 80% of the time, you can afford to be flexible the other 20% without ruining your baby’s sleep.
You can have your baby sleep well and go to Grandma’s birthday dinner without derailing your baby’s sleep schedule. That’s good news for those of us who want to live a little.
Understanding the Pressure to Create Baby’s Sleep Schedule
There is an abundance of information on the internet about creating your baby’s sleep schedule. There is also conflicting advice on baby sleep. How do you know who is right and what advice to follow as a new mom?
Society pressures us to have a baby who sleeps “through the night” by a few weeks old. Social media has us believing that everyone lives in a fabulous house and bakes their own bread. While some of us may be living this, most of us are not.
Most of us are just real. We are trying to figure out sleep as new moms, and we probably buy our bread at the grocery store. Whatever you’re doing, it’s good enough. I promise you that.
Most of us are probably scrolling social media. There’s a lot of potential for parental anxiety to kick in when we see that “all the moms” have babies who are sleeping perfectly. Moms are susceptible to burnout when striving for the unattainable perfection that we see on social media. I know for sure that not all the moms have babies who are sleeping.
I’m here to assure you that none of us are perfect. But we can strive for a consistent baby sleep schedule. And we can also deviate from that schedule occasionally without derailing your baby’s sleep. Really.
Why the 80/20 Rule Can Save Your Baby’s Sleep Schedule
Once you’ve established solid, consistent sleep hygiene, you can enjoy a little flexibility when necessary.
The 80% focuses on prioritizing the core foundational elements of healthy sleep habits most of the time.
The 20% allows for flexibility when life happens. It allows you to deviate from the routine without feeling guilty or derailing progress.
Consistency is always important. As a former teacher and mom of four, that is a hill I will die on. But life happens! And when it does, you want to be able to enjoy it and not overthink your baby’s sleep schedule.
Where Flexibility is Your Best Friend In Creating a Flexible Baby Sleep Schedule
I love a consistent and predictable routine for baby’s and kids, especially when it involves baby’s sleep schedules. However, there are times when life demands you be more flexible.
Even the most structured moms will need to be flexible sometimes because life isn’t always predictable. Some examples of when your baby’s sleep schedule will require flexibility are:
- Travel and time zone changes.
- Special events or family gatherings.
- Illness and needing extra comfort.
- Occasional late naps or early wake-ups due to unforeseen circumstances.
- Slightly later bedtimes on special occasions.
When these things happen, it’s important to not view getting off track as a failed bedtime. Vacations, illness, family celebrations and special events are all part of life. Life happens, so let’s learn to be flexible.
Focusing on the Foundational Pillars of Your Baby’s Sleep Schedule
Before we can be flexible, we need to establish consistency in your baby’s sleep schedule. The 80/20 Rule relies on setting the stage for great sleep before we can traipse off to Disney World and think that our baby’s sleep schedule won’t be disrupted.
Let’s look at what we need in place before we throw the routine out the window in favor of a fun night out.
Age-Appropriate Wake Windows
Understanding your baby’s wake windows and respecting them will prevent overtiredness. An overtired baby produces cortisol, a stress hormone, making sleep harder. So it’s beneficial to understand wake windows. And not let baby become very overtired.
Consistent Bedtime Routines
Having a calming and predictable bedtime routine is essential when creating your baby’s sleep schedule. It’s also important to have consistent nap routines as well. Sleep begets sleep, so daytime sleep helps night sleep.
Optimal Sleep Environment
You’ve probably heard this a million times before, but creating an optimal sleep environment helps when creating your baby’s sleep schedule.
A dark room, white noise and a thermostat set between 68-72 degrees is the way to create a sleep environment for your baby.
Independent Sleep Skills
If your baby or toddler has learned how to fall asleep and back to sleep independently, napping on the go or being off the usual routine will be easier to manage when you need to be flexible.
These elements of your baby’s sleep schedule are important to overall sleep. They also allow some flexibility when life dictates that you need to go with the flow occasionally.
Practical Tips for Implementing the 80/20 Rule
Something is occasionally going to get in the way of your baby’s sleep schedule. When that happens you need to be prepared and expect and accept that every day might not be perfect.
So how do you manage the days when your baby’s sleep schedule isn’t perfect?
Identify your non-negotiables. What are the 2 or 3 core sleep elements you can and do prioritize most consistently? Once you identify those, do your best to keep them in place. Maybe it’s nap time. If you’re on vacation, maybe you go back to wherever you’re staying and give your baby a nap at the same time every day.
Maybe it’s wake windows. You know when your baby will start to melt down. Be proactive and find a quiet spot before the end of the wake window. By doing this, your baby doesn’t get overstimulated. Whatever your non-negotiables are, prioritize them even on the days that sleep doesn’t look perfect.
Plan for flexibility. Maybe Monday through Friday, your baby has a consistent sleep schedule, but on weekends, you may have to attend an older sibling’s sporting event. Have a loose plan for navigating those times that you know your baby’s sleep schedule might be uprooted.
Don’t compare yourself to other parents. Every baby and every family is different. What works for one may not work for another. Focus on your own baby’s progress.
When my kids were babies, they were not fans of the stroller nap. When we’d go to Disney World, I’d see lots of babies and toddler asleep in strollers. As if! Not my kids!
If we had to be out or on vacation, I knew I had to prioritize at least one nap or I’d be sorry later! I often took them back to the hotel room so they’d get their nap and not melt down later in the day. Then we’d go back into the parks or to the pool later. Having some balance worked for my kids.
Lots of other parents would throw in their two cents and tell me to teach them to nap in the stroller, but I did what was best for my babies and let them get the sleep they needed. I observed my babies’ cues and adjusted my approach as needed. I was always able to work within the 80/20 framework when I had to be away from home.
Give yourself some grace. Occasional “off” days are normal. They don’t negate the progress you’ve made with your baby’s sleep schedule.
The Benefits of the 80/20 Approach
I think I mentioned that I’m all for consistency when it comes to your baby’s sleep schedule. But being flexible has it’s rewards.
If you can be flexible when necessary, it will absolutely reduce your stress level and anxiety over sleep.
Being flexible can also give you a more enjoyable experience as a mom if you’re not overthinking naps and sleep. Sometimes, you just need to enjoy the party or rock your sick baby to sleep.
Being flexible can allow for a more realistic integration of your baby’s sleep schedule with your family’s life. If you have more than one child, you feel this. Being a little flexible when necessary while still respecting your baby’s needs allows you to balance all the things that life encompasses.
You can still prioritize healthy, consistent sleep habits without the pressure to be perfect. Remember, motherhood is messy and beautiful. And it’s rarely perfect. And that’s ok because now you have a new best friend: the 80/20 Rule.
You might also like:
5 Essential Sleep Tips for Traveling With a Baby
Identifying Your Baby’s Sleepy Cues: A Guide for New Parents
