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Let’s talk about a topic as essential as caffeine on a Monday morning- teaching our kids the importance of doing chores. From tiny tots to moody teenagers, instilling the value of pitching in around the house not only lightens the load for us parents but also sets our little ones on a path to becoming responsible, capable individuals. So grab a cup of coffee (or your beverage of choice- no judgement here) and let’s dive in.
Sometimes, getting kids to do chores is like trying to herd cats – chaotic, slightly absurd, but strangely rewarding when you finally succeed. So why bother, you ask? Simply put, doing chores isn’t just about keeping the house tidy (though that’s a nice bonus). It’s about teaching responsibility, instilling a sense of pride, and preparing our mini-me’s for adulthood.
You may be thinking, “My kid is a toddler. Adulthood is a long way off!” You’d be right. But setting the tone early on that the family is collectively responsible for things running smoothly, is a step in the right direction. Whether you are a working mom or a stay-at-home mom, realizing that teamwork really does make the dream work, is the first step in creating responsible little people.
Let’s talk about what little ones can reasonably be expected to do.
Toddlers Can Do Chores
The toddler years are a time of boundless energy and endless curiosity. Believe it or not, even our little humans can get in on the chore action. Start small with tasks like putting away toys or helping to feed the family pet. Sure, it may take a bit longer (and involve a fair amount of supervision), but the sense of accomplishment they’ll feel is priceless.
Even one-year-olds can sort and put away toys. No kidding. They don’t know how to clean up toys, so they need to be taught. Sure, its time-consuming. Can you get it done faster if you do it yourself? Of course you can, because you’re not a toddler! I know the days are long, but dig down deep and find your patience to teach your tot what to do.
I happen to work with little people every day. Teaching them to clean up is a chore, even for the adults. But it’s time well-spent to teach tots how to clean up their toys. Try making a game of doing chores with toddlers. For example, you can send your tot to find all the red blocks, or the play food, or the musical instruments. You get the idea. Teaching toddlers to clean up toys involves higher level thinking skills, like sorting.
I love sorting activities for toddlers. Sorting is a foundational math skill. Sorting involves recognizing patterns, learning numbers and identifying colors. These skills are precursors to learning math, and are the beginning of short-term and long-term memory. So consider the added value in taking the time to teach your little one the simple chore of cleaning up toys.
Preschoolers Are Great At Doing Chores
As our kids enter the preschool years, they’re ready to tackle more complex chores. Think setting the table, sorting laundry (or attempting to), and maybe even helping with simple meal prep. Sure, there may be a few spills along the way, but the pride they’ll feel in contributing to the family’s daily routine is worth it.
When my kids were preschoolers, I taught them to set the table. The dishes were in a cabinet they couldn’t reach. I cleared out a lower cabinet and put dishes and cups where they could reach, making table setting seamless for their little hands.
I also purchased unbreakable plates and cups and housed them in that cabinet.
Recently, I was mindlessly scrolling social media, and someone posted a reel about allowing very young children to handle glass and real dishes.
The caption read something like, when we give kids unbreakable things, we’re telling them we don’t trust them with nice things, and we’re destroying their confidence.
I started thinking that there was no way that the Chaos Kingdom could survive the inevitable broken glass and fragments of dishes that would need to be cleaned up. Broken glass scatters to places you haven’t even thought about.
With four little ones crawling and toddling around, and two dogs, I opted for unbreakable. There are plenty of beautiful choices of unbreakable dishes and cups on the market. As far as I can tell, none of my kids developed a confidence problem and everyone set the table.
Breakable or unbreakable? Only you can decide that.
Preschoolers can also help with simple meal prep. Young children can wash produce. They can mix and stir. They can even cut food (with supervision and the proper tools).
To learn more about how you can get your child involved in the kitchen, check out my post, Tips To Encourage Picky Eaters To Try New Foods.
School Aged Kids
By the time our kiddos reach grade school, they’re ready to take on more responsibility. Kids at this age can make their beds, empty the dishwasher and help with yard work and cleaning their rooms.
Sure, there may be a bit of grumbling (and possibly some negotiation), but the life skills they’re developing are invaluable.
When Kissy, Nugget and Starlie were around middle school age, they learned to do their own laundry. Altruism? Not so much.
They were tired of me mixing up their clothes, so they just did their own laundry. Purely selfish reasons on their part, but they learned to use the washer and dryer and I no longer had to do their laundry.
You may want to prepare yourself for a lot of negotiation. As kids get older and gain a little independence, their demands often rise.
Tweens often gain newfound freedom around middle school, and they’ll need some money for their trips to the coffee shops, makeup stores and video games. This is where your artful negotiation skills are needed.
They’ll probably shake you down for cold, hard cash. You may even want to offer it.
No, it’s not bribery. It’s incentive. Kids that young can’t get jobs. I put mine on my payroll for doing chores. I got to check stuff off my list. They got spending money in return for doing chores.
Consider it a lesson in basic economics. Another teachable moment.
If you happen to have the kid who just wants to do chores for altruistic reasons, I applaud you. For the rest of us, cold, hard cash is a great motivator for getting the job done.
Teenagers
The teenage years – a time of rebellion, angst, and the ability to clean a bathroom and do their own laundry. They can and will likely eyeroll you when it comes time for doing chores.
I have known plenty of well-meaning, loving moms who required nothing of their teens. Acts of service is how they showed their love for their children. They were never (I’m not exaggerating that. Never.) made to do chores and contribute to the family.
Often, this results in young adults who go off to college or the work force with limited or no life skills and struggle on their own. Teaching your kids to do chores now helps them learn problem-solving skills, self-reliance and confidence.
In college, my roommate came from the most wonderful, loving parents. I taught her how to make her bed in college. We still laugh about it to this day. But seriously, I really had to teach her a lot of life skills.
Believe it or not, even our moody adolescents can contribute to the household. From doing their own laundry and cooking meals to mowing the lawn and helping with home repairs, our teens are proving that they’re ready to take on the world.
Doing chores will give them the life skills and confidence they need to leave the nest confidently when the time comes.
By starting early, setting clear expectations, and offering plenty of praise and encouragement along the way, we can instill a sense of responsibility and independence in our children that will serve them well for years to come.
You might also like: Balancing the Mental Load of Motherhood
